Aro Hates Youtube
by Its Good To Be The King
Summary: Aro finds a video on Youtube of someone making fun of him. What happens when he tracks said person down and finds out about Twilight? Parody but will be Alec/OC later.
1. Super Demetri to the Rescue!

**Wow this is what happens when your really hyper and hanging out with an equally hyper friend making a video. Oh and the story about the video thing with the prom dress is true but it is not on Youtube. So read and enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. Nothing I tell you! Though I am going to court about that… **

[Scene one: The Volturri are "eating"]

Aro: Wow, that was some good blood! Hey what's this? [finds laptop open to Youtube] A modern invention? [sees a random human] You there! Tell me what this is!

Human: [Horrified] Uh-h-hh…

Aro: Maybe this will help you remember… Crucio!

Human: Where not in Harry Potter and your not Voldemort.

Aro: Or am I?!

Human: Your not.

Aro: Just tell me what this is you fool!

Human: Youtube is a site where you can watch and post videos. Look. [types in 'Aro New Moon parody' and clicks on video. It shows a teenager with crazy horrible makeup on in a pink prom dress and black heels. She has a 'V' on her neck made out of eye shadow. She is impersonating Aro]

Aro: Who is she?! She will pay! [Aro discovers the wonders of the internet and through it discovers her name is Gabi and her address. He and the entire Volturri go to her house in the dead of night and go through her window into her room.]

Gabi: [Half asleep] Mom? I don't want to go to school.

Aro: I'm not your mother! Do you know who I am?! Look at me!

Gabi: [Panicked] Where are my glasses? I can't see without my glasses!

Demetri: SUPER DEMETRI TO THE RESCUE!! [uses his power to find glasses]

Gabi: Thanks. [puts on glasses and sees everyone] OMG The Volturri are real!

Aro: How do you know who we are?

Gabi: Twilight, duh! It's the best book ever! Its all about Edward and Bella and their love but you people are always in the way of their love. [grabs random Volturri dude by the collar and starts shaking him. She is hysterical.] Why do you get in the way of their love?!

Aro: So these 'Twilight' books have everyone's life story in them?

Gabi: Yeah, pretty much.

Aro: And you know everything?

Gabi: Cha!

Aro: [Sighs] Well than you'd better come back to Volterra with us.

[Volturri people are horrified]

Gabi: YAY! I DON'T HAVE TO GO TO SCHOOL TOMMOROW! [she runs into closet and is out dressed and with three packed suitcases in .5 seconds] LETS GO!!

[Everyone starts going out the window to their cars]

Aro: The things I do to protect vampires secrecy…

**Like it? Love it? Well review and tell me! I will not update until I get at least three reviews. Thanks for reading and remember to review!**


	2. You Can't Kill Me! I'm Your Friend!

**Thanks for reading this so far! I know it's a little bizarre but it will get better! Also for all you people that didn't know I am Gabi. So thank you so much for reading and reviewing! **

**Disclaimer: Ha ha ha ha HA! I went to court today against Stephanie Meyer to get the rights to this and I think I won! She just said something stupid about how she "wrote it" and it was "her family's source of income" and she "doesn't see why a teenager should own a book just because she is obsessed with it". I gave a much better argument about how I love the books and I really, really, really want it and would he pretty please with a cherry on top grant me the rights? So I don't own Twilight or anything else mentioned… At least I don't yet…**

**So after that very long disclaimer you may now read chapter two of the one and only fabulous… Aro Hates Youtube!**

[Scene One: In a car driving to the airport]

Gabi: When the moon is in the Seventh House And Jupiter aligns with Mars Then peace will guide the planets And love will steer the stars! [as Gabi each word gets higher and as she finishes her glasses break from her amazingly horrible voice]

[A/N: The lyrics Gabi sings are from Hair the Musical which I also want to own but alas no…]

Gabi: No! My glasses! Live! [tries to give glasses mouth to mouth resuscitation]

Demetri: Don't fear! Super Demetri is here! [he jumps out of the car and uses his power to find a new pair of glasses that are the exact same as Gabi's old pair. He comes back.] Here you are. [give them to Gabi]

Gabi: Yay! I have a new glasses finding friend! [hugs Demetri]

Aro: [Twitching in anger and frustration and trying to hold back in angry Jane from killing Gabi] So do you have a passport?

Gabi: Noooo.

Aro: [Erupting] HOW DO YOU EXPECT TO LEAVE THE COUNTRY WITHOUT A PASSPORT!!??

Gabi: Chillax. I have a plan. I hide in a suitcase and if some one opens it I say "Hello! I'm Lindsay Lohan!"

[A/N: I also do not own the amazing Achmed the Dead Terrorist. That belongs to Jeff Dunham. *Shoots Jeff Dunham angry glares* Your next Jeff… Your next…]

Demetri: That is the best plan ever!

Gabi: I know!

Aro: [Twitching] Fine just… please don't talk… or sing… or do anything at all if you want to live.

Gabi: You could never kill me! I'm your friend!

Aro: That's it! I am finding someone else that has read that stupid book of yours, that will actually be afraid when they are going to die. [He pulls up on the street beside a random girl] You girl! Have you read Twilight? [girl screams and runs away. Aro hisses] Fine I guess that were stuck with **you**. You're the only one stupid enough to actually come with us.

Gabi: I am not stupid! I am taking my SATs early thank you very much! [A/N: I actually am taking my SATs early I got into some program because I did really good on my states standardized testing or something]

[They pull up outside of an airport along with a few other cars filled with Volturri members. Gabi gets in suit case (I know you couldn't really breath in a suitcase but lets just say you can for this story) They walk up to the main lobby counter person]

Aro: Ten tickets for Italy [A/N: Ten people just came to America with Aro there are a lot more back in Volterra]

Airport Lady: Okay here are your tickets but we have had an outbreak of lice and we need to check peoples hair that is longer than a certain limit and well to be frank… you have the longest hair I have ever seen.

Gabi: [From suitcase] Let it fly in the breeze And get caught in the trees Give a home to the fleas in my hair A home for fleas A hive for bees A nest for birds!

Airport Lady: Um sir? Is your suitcase singing?

Aro: [Nervously] No, no. Ha ha ha… ha. Well lets go check my hair now.

[They go and check Aro's head for lice. I am not going into details but lets just say that he's clean. They get on the plane.]

Gabi: [From suitcase] Volterra here I come!

**Thank you so much for reviewing! This chapter was a treat for everyone because I got so many reviews in just an hour of so! This beats all my other stories that have been up for months and have like one review! So remember - the more you review the more chapters people!**


	3. Never Go On a Plane Ride with Gabi

**Thanks so much for all the people reviewing and putting this story on alerts! It means a lot to me. My winter break is over so back to school. Nooo! And I actually have to practice my Hebrew for my bat mitzvah. I never practice and have been putting it off for like three weeks even though I should be practicing everyday. But oh well… And than I have tryouts for my schools musical. Luckily most of the talented kids graduated last year so there's only like two people with any talent! Which means despite my **

**horrible singing I might get a lead this year! Wish me luck! I have to stop with these long introductions but I have one more question. Should I get a beta? I don't think my spelling and grammar is to awful but its up to you. And if I get a beta it might take longer for each chapter to go up as I said before it is your call… So on with the story!**

**Disclaimer: I lost in court. Which means *starts crying hysterically* I DON'T OWN TWILIGHT AND I NEVER WILL! **

[Scene One: One the plane]

Pilot: Hello passengers this is your captain speaking. We will be landing in ten minutes but will the person who is singing RENT… SHUT UP SO I CAN LAND THE PLANE!

[Gabi is still in the suitcase and after singing the entire soundtrack of Hair thirteen times she started to sing Rent and is on the song "Rent!"

Gabi: Were not gonna pay rent! Rent, rent, rent, rent! Were not gonna pay rent! 'Cause everything is Rentttttt!!!!

[Aro kicks Gabi/suitcase]

Gabi: Owwie! That hurt!

Jane: Hey I'm the only one who causes people pain around here!

[Aro scowls at her and she shuts up. Gabi also gets the message and just starts humming. The pilot lands and they get out of the plane and leave the airport. Cars are waiting outside for them. Gabi gets out of the suitcase.]

Gabi: Yay! Were in Italy! I must sing to express my joy! RE- [Gabi starts to sing but Aro pulls out duct tape and tapes her mouth closed.]

Aro: Finally! Silence! Beautiful, beautiful silence… [Aro starts to trail of but Demetri starts crying] Why are you ruining the beautiful silence?!

Demetri: [Crying] You-don't-like-Gabi-and-when-you-find-out-all-you-need-to-know-your-going-to-kill-her. [Starts crying hysterically] She's-the-best-friend-I-ever-had! And-if-you-kill-her-I'm-leaving!

Aro: I'll deal with this later Demetri I am not in the mood. [Aro takes out a notebook and writes 'Never let Demetri have a friend EVER' in it]

[They pull up next to a sewer hole (aka the way to go to the Volturri castle/place/thing) Everyone except Aro gets out of the car and he drives away to go park it somewhere]

Jane: Okay who wants to jump first?

Gabi: [Horrified] We have to jump into a sewer?

Jane: Correction. You have to be pushed into a sewer.

Gabi: [Confused] Wha- [Jane pushes her down the sewer and everyone else jumps in. They walk through the tunnel and get inside to the main part.]

Gabi: I'm tired.

Demetri: You can sleep?

Gabi: Cha!

Demetri: That is so cool!

Gabi: I know, right!

Demetri: Right!

Gabi: Right!

Demetri: Right!

[Aro storms in]

Aro: Wrong!!

Gabi: Arrrroooo. I'm tiredddd.

Aro: You cant. We have to question and you and than kill y- [stops] and than go see a movie! Yeah, that's it…

Gabi: But I am really tired.

Aro: Fine. Go to sleep.

Gabi: Where?

Aro: On that couch.

Gabi: No.

Aro: Yes.

Gabi: No

Aro: Yes.

Gabi: No.

[Many yes and no's later…]

Gabi: NOOO! NO! NO! NO!

Aro: Fine there's a guest bedroom on the third floor. Alec will show you the way.

[Gabi and Alec leave. Gabi is giggling because of something Alec said]

Gabi: Sooo. How long have you been here?

Alec: I lost count after two hundred.

Gabi: Your old!

Alec: I'm only 13 though when it comes right down to it.

Gabi: Me to!

[They get to the room]

Alec: Well, I guess I'll see you in the morning.

Gabi: Kay! Bye! [Goes into room]

[Alec goes to Aro]

Aro: [Hitting his head against the wall] Let this be a lesson to you Alec. Never go on a plane with a crazy 13 year old human with in obsession with rock musicals. Never.

Alec: I actually came to ask some advice. Girl advice.

Aro: [Excited] Ohh! What's her name? What does she look like? How old is she?

Alec: [Nervous] It's Gabi.

**Ohhh! Cliffy! What will happen next? Only I know! But you can to if you review! Thanks for reading and remember to review!**


	4. Willeth Youeth Goeth Outeth

**Thank you so much everyone once more for being such great readers and reviewing! I will spare you the long introduction today so sit back relaz and enjoy the marvelous Aro Hates Youtube.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight… Uhh Stephanie whats the next line? Oh yeah… or anything else mentioned and I never will and Stephanie Meyer is the best author ever to live…. [whispers] Help me! Stephanie Meyer is forcing me to write this disclaimer! : )**

**Enjoy!**

[Scene One: Aro's office/room]

Aro: [In shock] You like Gabi?!

Alec: Yeah. So how should I ask her out?

Aro: You like a human?!

Alec: Yeah

Aro: An annoying human?!

Alec: [Bored] Yes, yes I do.

Aro: An annoying human teenager?!

Alec: Are you going to give me advice or not?

Aro: No why would- [he gets in idea] Actually I will help you. Here's what you have to do…

[Aro's voice trail of and Scene Two starts in Gabi's room where Gabi and Demetri are singing along to the radio]

Gabi: I've got a feeling!

Demetri: That tonight's gonna be a good night!

Gabi: That tonight's gonna be a good, good night!

[Alec knocks on the door]

Gabi: Come in!

[Alec walks in wearing a freaky hideous tuxedo from two hundred years ago that Aro lent him. He is holding a flower]

Alec: Gabi will-eth you go-eth out-eth with me-…eth?

[Demetri rolls on the floor laughing hysterically and Gabi is laughing hysterically too but has managed to remain standing]

Gabi: [Between laughs] Alec-what-are-you-wearing-and-what-were-you-even-saying?!

Alec: [Embarrassed] Aro said it was romantic. Wait right here. [he runs out and changes into normal clothes and he has ditched the flower] Will you go out with me?

Gabi: [Excited] Yeah! [starts to sing] Lets go outtt tonight! I wanna go! Outtt tonight!

Alec: Lets go!

[They leave the room where Demetri is still laughing hysterically and Alec runs to Aro's office/room/place]

Alec: Your going to need someone to cover my shift. I'm going out with Gabi!

Aro: [Flabbergasted (he he that a fun word to say!)] But that wasn't supposed to wor- [Alec runs out of the room to Gabi. They leave.]

**Thank you once more to all the people that have reviewed and read this story! You all mean so much to me! Keep reading and keep reviewing!**


	5. Janes a What?

_Thank you so much for being the best audience a wirter can have! I've only had this story up for three days and I already have 21 reviews! You guys rock! I would also like to give a shout out to my self proclaimed biggest fan Appleicious Cullen! This ones for you Apple!_

_Disclaimer: Yay! I have escaped from the evil clutchs of Stephanie Meyer! She made me write that I didn't own Twilight over one thousand times. But I escaped when she went to go get more paper. Now I'm free! But I still don't own Twilight…_

_**[Scene One: The Throne Room]**_

_**Aro: [Hysterical] And than he asked her on a date and she said yes! What are we going to do? She's dating Alec and she's Demetri's best friend so we cant kill her! And we cant send her back! She knows to much! What are we going to do! **_

_**[Aro goes into breakdown mode but before he freaks out any further Caius slaps him]**_

_**Caius: Get a hold of yourself man! We'll wait until they get back from their little date and than we will meet this infamous Gabi!**_

_**Aro: [Stuttering] I-think-I-need-to-go-lie-down-somewhere… [he faints]**_

_**[Scene Two: A night club]**_

_**Alec: [Shouting and dancing] I've never been somewhere like this before!**_

_**Gabi: [Shouting and dancing] Yeah! Its fun! [sees Jane] Hey! Isn't that your sister over there?**_

_**Alec: [Goes over to Jane] Jane?!**_

_**Jane: Alec?!**_

_**Gabi: Gabi!**_

_**Alec: [To Jane] What are you doing here?**_

_**Jane: Uh-hh-h…[gives up] I come here every week…**_

_**[Gabi starts taking pictures]**_

_**Gabi: Ha ha! I'm putting these on Facebook!**_

_**Jane: NOOO!… Pain. [Gabi starts withering on the ground in agony]**_

_**Alec: [Furious] Jane… [he uses his power and Jane loses her senses. Gabi is okay]**_

_**Jane: I'm blind! [runs into a wall]**_

_**Alec: [To Gabi completely ignoring Jane] Are you okay?**_

_**Gabi: Yeah! I always wondered what that would feel like… it was painful.**_

_**Alec: So what should we do about my "darling" sister?**_

_**Gabi: [Laughs evilly] Ha ha ha… I know…**_

_**I know you want to find out what happens next and you know the only way to find out is to review! So read and review if you want to find out!**_


	6. Mysterious Voices

**Hello again my wonderful readers! I am sorry that I took so long to post this chapter but I had a lot of homework and I watched a documentary and I had to find an audition song for tryouts for my school play. Were doing this weird musical called Dear Edwina jr. and I am going to sing the song I Want to be a Producer from The Producers the musical by the fabulous Mel Brooks! So wish me luck or rather, tell me to break a leg! I'm sure going to need it…. So on with the story! **

**Disclaimer: Ha ha ha ha HA! I have another plan to get the rights to Twilight! I will sneak into Stephanie Meyers house in the dead of night and steal it! Ha ha ha! Ha! I don't own the rights at least not yet… **

[Scene One: the Volturri castle/place/thing]

Aro: I wonder where Jane is. She's normally back right now… [there's a knock on the door and Aro opens it and lying on the step is Jane "knocked out" and dressed completely in drag she wakes up]

[A/N: No offense to anybody this is all in good fun and not meant to insult anybody]

Jane: [Screaming] Alec! Gabi! You are both so dead!

[Alec and Gabi walk out laughing hysterically. Jane uses her power and they both fall to the ground in pain. They are still laughing]

Gabi: Ha ha ha! A drag queen is causing me pain!

[A/N: No offense!]

Alec: Shouldn't we be in a cat fight?!

Jane: I'll kill you!

[A/N: Achmed the Dead Terrorist! Jeff Dunham is a genius!]

Gabi: Achmed!

[Jane increases pain and Demetri runs out in a cape that says "Super Demetri!" and tackles Jane. The pain stops]

Demetri: Super Demetri is here to save the day once more!

Gabi: Yay! Super Demetri!

[Jane scowls]

Jane: [To Aro] I am going up to my room and when I come down I want to see them punished! [she goes to her room]

[Aro sighs]

Aro: Come on Gabi you have to go meet some people.

Gabi: Yay!!! Who? Neman Marcus and Kaius, Cauis, Whatever His Name His!?

Aro: [Scowls] No. You are going to meet MARCUS and CAIUS not whatever foolish names you were saying.

Gabi: Take that back! Neman Marcus is one of favorite stores!

Aro: Whatever…

[They go to see the old dudes with funny names]

Caius: So you are Gabi?

Gabi: Cha!

Caius: And I assume you know who I am.

Gabi: Yeah you're the ugly old dude with hideous hair and a name nobody can pronounce!

[Caius runs to go tear Gabi limb from limb but surprisingly Aro stops him]

Aro: Peace brother. Remember she is the only one we can find that knows about that book Twilight.

Gabi: Oh and another thing why is Aro always saying Peace? He said it seven times in Breaking Dawn alone! Are you a hippy?! You have hippy hair! Hippy's!

Aro: Who cares about Twilight! She insulted our hair lets get her! [Aro and Caius run forward to attack Gabi but than someone speaks just before they get to her]

Mysterious Voice: Do not hurt her!

**Ha ha ha! I love torturing my readers! But I am doing something that will be a first. You get to chose who the mysterious voice is! Just go to my profile and vote! Vote soon because I am writing and posting the chapter tomorrow. Oh and remember to tell me to break a leg! I need all the luck I can get… And one more thing before I end. My goal is to get to at least- at least- 50. And to get to 100 reviews is my ultimate goal! So please help me reach my goal! Oh and one more thing! I think I am going to make this story into a trilogy. I have an idea for the sequel but I'm not going to be done the first one for a while. So thanks for reading and remember to review!**


	7. Your Just Like Them!

**Hello my wonderful readers! I am extremely sorry for the long delay but you have no idea how busy I've been… Anyway my audition went great and I finally decided to sing I Want to be a Producer from The Producers by the amazing Mel Brooks! I got the part of the talent scout from Dear Edwina Jr.! Also if you have not seen Avatar go see it right now! It is the most amazing movie ever made which is why this chapter will have Avatar stuff in it. Also I want to thank my friend Lauren for the idea for this chapter!**

**Disclaim: OK slowly, carefully pick them up… Oh hi Stephanie Meyer. No I'm not stealing Twilight. Nooo… Fine I'll say it… I don't own Twilight or any thing else mentioned and I never will… HAPPY NOW STEPAHNIE MEYER!? **

[Scene One: The Volturri throne room]

Mysterious Voice/Alec: Don't hurt her! Come on Gabi were leaving.

[Gabi and Alec walk out of the throne room and Gabi is skipping]

Aro: [Sighs] Come on Jane lets go spy on them…

Jane: Spying like the FBI?! Or even better the CTU!! Cool! So I'm like Renee Walker and your Jack Bauer!

Aro: You have got to stop watching 24.

[A/N: 24 is one or my two favorite shows along with House. And the season premiere starts on Sunday to Saturday! YAY!!]

[Scene Two: On the streets of Volterra

Alec: So, what are we going to do today?

Gabi: I don't know… [walks past a movie theatre] AVATAR!

Alec: What?!

Gabi: Avatar! it's the second highest grossing movie of all time and its supposed to be one of the best! I have to see it! [goes and buys two tickets before Alec can say anything] Lets go! [They walk into the movie theatre]

[Aro and Jane appear from behind a wall]

Aro: So here's the plan. We go in and see that little Avatar film and see what their really up to. [They go into the theater]

[Scene three: In the middle of Avatar when the tree fall's down]

Gabi: NOO! How can they destroy the tree?! [Everyone in the audience starts crying hysterically]

Aro: IT'S A TREE!! WHO CARES?!

Gabi: Your just like them!

[Audience forms into an angry crowd]

Audience: Get him! [Pull out pitchforks and torches and chase Aro back to the Volturri castle/place/thing]

Alec: This can not be good…

**Sorry for the short chapter but at least its something! So thanks for reading and review! Remember I want at least fifty reviews and my impossible goal is one hundred so keep reviewing! Thanks!**


	8. Thats What Happens When You Mess With 24

**Hello again my wonderful readers! I decided to skip the whole extremely long introduction and go right into my story for once. So here it goes!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything [insert funny joke here]**

[Scene One: The Volturri castle/place/thing]

Angry Avatar Audience: [They corner Aro and are all holding pitchforks and torches] Now you will learn that killing tree's isn't funny!

[Gabi runs up and is clapping]

Gabi: Bravo! Bravo! This is exactly the response we wanted to see!

Angry Avatar Audience: What?

Gabi: This whole thing was planned by the creators of Avatar to see how into the movie people really are. And having the audience almost kill someone that didn't like it is great! So in your honor we will be planting 100 trees!

Aro: [Catching on] Yes so you can put away those torches now. Ha ha ha…

[Angry Avatar Audience leaves]

Aro: Gabi that was actually smart.

Gabi: Yes, yes it was. [Looks at a clock and starts screaming] ITS 8 O'CLOCK!! ITS 8 O'CLOCK!!

Aro: [Startled] What's happening?!

Gabi: 24 premieres!!! [Jane comes running in at t he sound of the word 24 she is wearing a t-shirt that says I Love Jack Bauer and Gabi is wearing a shirt with a picture of Jack Bauer on the front of a kind of hippy pattern that says Bauer Power]

Jane: OMG! What do we do there's no TV in here!

[Gabi starts screaming at Aro]

Gabi: HOW CAN YOU NOT HAVE A TV??!! DON'T YOU KNOW THAT 24 IS ON IN LESS THAN AN HOUR???

Aro: [To Jane] Just do what you did last year and break into somebody's house and watch it there.

Jane: Fine. Come on Gabi. [They leave]

[Scene Two: At a random persons house]

Gabi: Bauer Power!

[People that own the house walk in]

Random Person: Polizia! Aiuto! Ci sono due persone strane nella mia casa guardando una mostra di televisione di violent!

[A/N: Translation is - Police! Help! There are two weird people in my house watching a violent television show! (Thank you to )]

Gabi: [Furious] How dare you interrupt 24!

[Jane uses his power and he starts writhing on the ground in pain]

Jane: Ha ha ha! That's what happens when you mess with 24!

[Police start pounding on the door]

Police: Open up! It's the police!

**Sorry everyone but you all know how much I love to torture my readers : ) The 24 season premier is tonight so that's how I got the idea for this chapter. Anyway thank you once more for reading and review! Were only 6 more away from 50 reviews and I am not updating until I get at least that! **


	9. This Girl Should Be Locked Up Somwhere

_Heyyy everyone! I know I said I would update when I got 50 reviews but 48 is close enough! But I still expect you all to review! Uhh… I have to go back to school tomorrow and I am going to be pretty busy but don't worry I will still try to update as often as possible probably every other day or something. Also I would like to thank Liz for my longest review ever and I might just use some of your ideas in this story or its sequels! So on with the story!_

_**[Scene One: The random person house as Jane and Gabi watch 24 and the police are trying to break in]**_

_**Gabi: [To police in a weird voice] ¡Arrepentido pero yo no comprendo español! **_

_**[A/N: In Spanish. Translation - Sorry but I don't understand Spanish!**_

_**Jane: Their speaking English!**_

_**Gabi: Shhh! They don't know that! **_

_**Police: [Pounding on door] Open up before we blow up the door!**_

_**Gabi: [To Jane] OK you take to TV and go back to the castle/place/thing and I'll distract the cops. I'll meet you back there and don't forget to record it.**_

_**[Jane leaves with the TV and Gabi ties up the random human guy and puts him in the closet. Gabi opens door for the police just as they are about to blow it up.]**_

_**Police: Put your hands up! [Gabi puts her hands up and the police handcuff her]**_

_**Gabi: What are you doing!?**_

_**Police: You have the right to remain silent everything you say can and will be used against you.**_

_**Gabi: You don't get it! I live here! This random person broke in and I managed to tie him up. He's in the closet if you don't believe me. **_

_**[The police go to the closet and find the random person they untie him]**_

_**[A/N: I'm getting tired of writing random person so his name will now be Bob]**_

_**Bob: [Screaming and hiding behind the police] It was her! And this other kid! They made me feel the worst pain I ever felt! Don't let her kill me!**_

_**[Police officers are confused] **_

_**Gabi: Do I look like I could hurt anyone? [smiles innocently and flashes Bob a death glare when the Police look away. Bob is horrified]**_

_**Bob: That girl needs to be locked up somewhere! **_

_**Police: You both are coming downtown.**_

_**Gabi: But what about 24?!**_

_**Another cliffy! Ha ha! Sorry but you know what you need to do for the next chapter. Review! So the faster the review the faster you get another chapter!**_


	10. I Don't Want To Go To Juvey!

**Thank you everyone for helping me get to my goal! Now the goal is 75 reviews but I really want to get 100. Can you do it for me? Please?? Maybe another chapter will make you review. So here it is!**

**Disclaimer: I am to lazy to write a disclaimer but I will one day. Maybe this is why I don't own Twilight…**

[Scene One: A police station in downtown Volterra]

Gabi: Pants on the ground! Pants on the ground! Lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground! With your hat on the sidew-

Police: [Interrupting her and handing her a phone] You get one phone call.

[Gabi dials the number to the Volturri and Gianna picks up]

Gianna: Hello. This is Gianna speaking you have reached the Volturri how may I help you?

Gabi: Pants on the ground!

Gianna: [Shocked] What?!

Gabi: Yo! Its me Gabi!

Gianna: I think you have the wrong number. [goes to hang up phone]

Gabi: Its me Gaaabbbiii. You know the awesome teenage human!

Gianna: [Realizes who it is] Oh, you. Yes I have heard quite a lot about **you**.

Gabi: I know… I'm awesome!

Gianna: Sure that's what I heard… Anyway why are you calling?

Gabi: Because of pants on the ground! Can I talk to Super Demetri?

Gianna: Who?!

Gabi: [Sighs] Demetri.

Gianna: Okay. [gives the phone to Demetri]

Demetri: Pants on the ground!

Gabi: Walking down the street with your pants on the ground!

Demetri: Gabi! What's up?

Gabi: I'm in jail and this is my one phone call. I need you to come and get me out without telling **anyone**.

Demetri: Can I be in the CTU like Jack Bauer?!

Gabi: You can but only in your [says it like sponge bob] imagination!

[Demetri runs to the police station at the speed of light- literally]

Demetri: Hello officers.

Police: Who are you?

Demetri: I am Jack Ba- [realizes he's not Jack Bauer] I mean Demetri and I am here to get Gabi.

Police: She's being interrogated at the moment.

Demetri: WHAT??!!

[Scene Two: In an interrogation room]

Police: So why were you in the house in the first place?

Gabi: I told you I live there.

Police: Liar! We have legal proof that you have never set foot in the house before today.

Gabi: Everybody lies.

[A/N: House quote! J]

Police: Not in court you won't. You're free to go for now but you will be called in for another interrogation session.

Gabi: I demand to speak with my attorney!

Police: Fine. Come back here with your lawyer tomorrow and we will see if we have enough evidence to take you to court.

[Gabi leaves with Demetri]

Gabi: What are we going to do! They'll find out everything and send me to juvey! I'm to young to go to jail!

Demetri: Your going to need a lawyer or at least someone who can act like one… Hmmm…

Gabi: Hmmm…

[Thinking than they both have an idea and a light bulb magically appears over their heads]

Gabi and Demetri: Felix!

**Wow this is a pretty long chapter! So to reward me for writing this you know what to do… review! Thanks once more!**


	11. Oh You Just Got Dissed Volturri Style!

**Wow! Did I ever tell all of you readers out their how awesome you all are? Well I guess I'll just say it again. You guys are the best readers an author can have! In a mere 19 days I have 58 reviews! You guys rock! : ) Just for that I am ending this authors note now and going right into the story. Here we go!**

[Scene One: The Volturri castle/place/thing outside of Felix's room]

Gabi: [Pounding on his door] FELIX! Open up its an emergency!!

[Felix angrily opens up the door wearing Spongebob pajamas and duck slippers]

Felix: What do you want? I was watching SNL.

[A/N: For all of you people that don't know SNL stands for Saturday Night Life which is one of the best shows in the universe. Beside 24, House, and Jay Leno of course]

Gabi: Aro said there weren't any TV's here.

Felix: That's what he thinks.

[Felix goes back into his room for a minute than comes out in normal clothes. Him and Gabi go back to Gabi's room where Demetri is waiting. Gabi and Demetri tell Felix all about Gabi's problem]

Gabi: So obviously you are the best choice for a lawyer so we picked you! So will you do it? Please? For me?

Felix: Fine. But were going to need a plan…

[Scene Two: At the Volterra police station. Gabi, Demetri and Felix are there and they are all dressed up in fancy expensive clothes. Felix is holding a brief case]

Police: Who are they?

Gabi: This is my best friend Demetri and my lawyer Felix. I think were ready for whatever little "interrogation" your going to do.

Felix: To the interrogation room!

[Scene Three: In the interrogation room]

Police: [Shining a light in Gabi's eyes] Where were you on the night of tonight?!

Gabi: But that doe-

Felix: Objection! That makes no sense.

Police: Don't backtalk me!

Gabi: We'll back talk you if we want to!

Gabi, Demetri and Felix: Oh you just got dissed Volturri style!

Don't make me snap my fingers in a "V" formation! Uh oh here I go! [snaps fingers in the shape of a V]

Police: [Angrily] Stop that! Now sit down or we'll take you to court!

[They sit down angrily]

Police: So why were you really in Bob's house?

Gabi: [Realizes she has to tell the truth] Fine the real reason is that it was the season premiere of 24 and my castle/place/thing supposedly didn't have a TV and I was running out of time so I just went into the first house I saw. Then Bob came in and he just saw this part of the show that was really violent and than he started freaking out. I can't blame him, it is a really violent show.

Police: Oh you were just watching 24! We would have let you of without a warning if you just said that. I love 24 and everyone should see it! [Goes to the hallway and comes back in a few minutes with a huge flat screen on a cart] Here, this is my personal TV. Watch it and make sure never to miss 24! Bye!

[Gabi, Demetri and Felix leave with the TV and go back to the Volturri castle/place/thing]

Gabi: Wow that was lucky!

Demetri: And now we have a TV!

Felix: I always knew I would make a great lawyer!

Gabi: But now what do we do?

Everyone: Hmm….

Gabi: [Suddenly gets in idea] Lets have a vampire reunion!

**I know you all want to know what happens next so please, please, please review! Thanks once more!**


	12. Aro's a Social Outcast

**Hi again everyone! I am going to be writing a lot of chapters over the weekend so we should have a lot more updates soon. Yay! Here we go!!**

[Scene One: The Volturri castle/place/thing]

Demetri: What's a vampire reunion?

Gabi: We invite every single vampire in the world here and we can have like a reunion thing! Plus I get to meet all the people I've been reading about for years!

Felix: Oh yeah whatever happened with Aro trying to figure out the whole Twilight thing?

Gabi: I don't think he realizes he could just touch my hand. But I am not saying anything!

[Scene Two: Aro's room]

Aro: Must figure out way to find out about Twilight!

[Scene Three: Back to scene one]

Demetri: That vampire reunion thing sounds awesome! Lets go tell everyone!

Gabi: Yeah! [runs down the hall and see's Alec] Alec guess what?! I just had the most amazing, fantastic, marvelous idea ever! [A/N: Wow now I sound like Stephanie Meyer with all the adjectives]

Alec: [Excited] What!?

Gabi: Were going to have a vampire reunion and invite all the vampires of the world!

Alec: Awseome!

Gabi: I know right!

Alec: Right!

Gabi: Right!

Alec: Right!

[Aro storms in]

Aro: Wrong!

[A/N: Déjà vu : )]

Gabi: Hey Aro! Did you here about the reunion?

Aro: There's not going to be a reunion!

Gabi: And why is that?

Aro: Because I don't want one!

Gabi: [Out of the corner of her mouth talking to Alec] Social outcast!

Aro: I am not a social outcast I just don't want a bunch of my enemies here.

Gabi: Maybe if you weren't such a social outcast you wouldn't have enemies! [Seriously] Have you ever considered therapy?

Aro: No I have not considered therapy! And just to show you that I am not a social outcast you can have your precious little reunion!

[Gabi hugs Aro. He is horrified]

Gabi: Thank you Aro! Don't worry you won't regret it! [Gabi and Alec leave to go to plan for the reunion]

Aro: I already do.

**And for the millionth time thank you once more and don't forget to keep reviewing!**


	13. A Vampire Reunion?

Hello once again my wonderful readers! Thank you all once more for the reviews! Oh and I forgot to give partial credit to Liz for the hand-touching thing in the last chapter. I was already thinking about doing something like that but I wasn't sure if it would be funny or not but when Liz suggested it I know I had to put it in. So thanks! Oh and don't worry Apple the Cullen's are coming in soon : ). So on with the story!

**[Scene One: Gabi's room]**

**Gabi: OK Jane your going to be in charge of music. Super Demetri you take decorations. Felix your going to be in charge of food. Al-**

**Felix: [Interrupting her] But no one eats.**

**Gabi: Well I do so were having it! Alec you make sure every vampire in the world gets in invitation and make sure that everyone **comes. I'll do everything else. Come on people lets move it!

[Everyone runs out of the room]

[Scene Two: A few days later at the Volturri castle/place/thing]

Gabi: So Jane what kind of music are we going to use?

Jane: Painful music!

Everyone: Painful music?

Jane: You know like The Black Eyed Peas? [A/N: Get it? They have a black eye so someone punched them and they were in pain. Ha ha ha… I crack myself up! LOL]

Gabi: Okayyy. So Super Demetri what are the decorations going to be like?

Demetri: I was thinking… 60's!!

Gabi: Love it! Felix how's the food?

Felix: I'm just going to order a pizza and soda.

Gabi: Great! Alec?

Alec: I sent everyone the invites you gave me but we haven't got any responses yet…

[Scene Two: Meanwhile at the Cullen's house]

Edward: [Reading invitation] Carlisle I think you should see this.

Carlisle: What is it? [reads invitation] Family meeting!

[All the Cullen's go to have a family meeting]

Emmett: I hate family meetings! Were all adults why do we need them?

Carlisle: They build family bonding! [to himself] At least that's what the parenting book said… [to everyone] So anyway the reason for th- [glaring at Alice] Alice why aren't you taking the family meeting notes?

Alice: Because its stupid to take notes for everything!

Carlisle: No there not! [Starts to lecture about the importance of family meetings and notes until Alice finally angrily starts to take notes] Thank you. Anyway the Volturri have sent us in invitation to a "vampire reunion" in Volterra.

Everyone: What?

[Scene Three: Meanwhile in Romania]

Stefan: Vladimir the Volturri have sent us an invitation to a reunion!

[Scene Three: Meanwhile in Alaska]

Tanya: A vampire reunion?

[Scene Four: Meanwhile in the Amazon]

Zafrina: What is this!?

[Meanwhile all the other vampires of the world get the invitation and they all react the same way]

[Scene Five: And back in Volterra…]

Gabi: Don't worry I'm sure everyone is responding right now!

**So thanks for reading and review! **


	14. Shop Till You Drop Dead

**Hello my amazingly awesome readers! You guys helped me surpass not just my goal of 50 reviews but now my goal of 75 reviews! I know you guys can get me to 100 so read this chapter and review! WOO! YAY! [insert other exciting sound effects] Here we go!!**

[Scene One: One week later at the Volturri castle/place/thing]

Gabi: So Alec did everyone respond?

Alec: After your several death threats if they didn't show up we managed to get the last one this morning which is great because the reunion is tomorrow.

Gabi: I'm so excited! Oh and look what I bought for you to wear! [pulls out an awesome Armani suit]

Alec: Your awesome!

Gabi: I know!

Alec: How did you afford it?

Gabi: Well I went to go ask Aro for money and he gave me a credit card and told me to "quote" shop till I drop-dead "unquote". [remembers something] Wait right there! [runs into closet and comes out in a short red BCBG dress]

Alec: [Speechless] Wow.

Gabi: I know! [she goes and changes back into her regular clothes]

[They go to the throne room where Demetri is setting up]

Demetri: What do you think? [the room is decked out 60's style]

Gabi: Love it! The only thing is you have to get rid of those chairs. Their like the man trying to bring you down!

Demetri: Are you sure? Aro will get mad…

Gabi: Of course I'm sure! Now make sure you get something totally awesome to wear for tomorrow! Come on Alec lets go check on how Jane's doing with the music. [they go over to wear Jane is behind a DJ stand] Hey Jane! How's the music going?

Jane: Its very painful!

Gabi: Wondeful! Just make sure you get some 60's music in there and you must have at least some songs from Hair and The Beatles!

Jane: Okay.

Gabi: Lets go see how Felix is doing. [they go over to Felix] Felix how's the food going?

Felix: Good. There sending it here tomorrow night before everyone gets here.

Gabi: This is going to be the best vampire reunion ever!!

Alec: It is the only one ever.

Gabi: Exactly!

**So thank you once more and keep reviewing!**


	15. I Hate YouI Hate Twilight I Hate Youtube

**Hello my readers and let me welcome you to another chapter of Aro Hates Youtube! I'm home sick today so I figured that this is a great chance to write the chapter that everyone has been waiting for. Also I have decided that this story will be 20 chapters but don't worry there will still be two more stories in this trilogy. So I'm just going to go right into this story. Here we go!**

[Scene One: The Volturri throne room which has all the Volturri vampires (and Gabi) running around making sure everything is perfect]

Gabi: [Screaming and totally stressed out] Somebody hang up that disc ball! And Jane make sure all of the music is ready! Felix did you order the food yet?!

Alec: Relax Gabi everything will be perfect. Just go get dressed and don't worry I'll make sure everything goes smoothly.

Gabi: Thanks. [she goes to her room to go get on her awesome dress. She comes down a few hours later looking beautiful and everyone else is standing in the room which is totally decked out 60's style and everyone is dressed in awesome outfits] OMG! Its perfect you guys rock! [notices Aro isn't there] Where's Aro?

Random Volturri Person: Oh he's in his room having a nervous breakdown.

Gabi: WHAT?! [runs up to Aro's room and starts pounding on the door] ARO!! COME OUT HERE RIGHT NOW! YOU ARE NOT RUINING THIS DAY FOR ME!

Aro: [Crying] Stop ordering me around! You order everyone else around and now

no one will even listen to me! I hate you! I hate Twilight! And most of all… I

HATE YOUTUBE!!

Gabi: [Stunned] Well if that's how you really feel… I'm leaving. [Storms out of the

castle/place/thing into the pouring rain]

[Scene Two: Back in the throne room]

Demetri: I wonder where Gabi is. [goes to Aro's room] Hey Aro where's Gabi?

Aro: [Laughing like a crazy guy] She's gone! I'm free!

Demetri: [Screaming] Alec!!

Alec: [Runs over to where Demetri is] What happened?!

Demetri: Its Gabi she left!

[Suddenly there's a knock from the front door]

Carlisle: Hello? it's the Cullen's. Were here!

**Another cliffy! This really wasn't what I was planning for this chapter but I just started writing and this is what I thought of. But don't worry everything will end up okay-ish. Oh and sorry for the short chapter but I really don't feel good. I might post another chapter tonight if I feel better but don't count on it becuase both House and 24 are on. I have nothing else to write so… Bye!**


	16. I Must Sing to Express My Joy!

**Hey guys guess what! Beside my part as the Talent Scout in Dear Edwina jr. I also get to sing a song. By myself. Solo. I know what you're thinking - But Gabi I thought you were the worst singer ever to walk the face of the planet? - and trust me I am so I really have no idea why I know have a song to do but I'm not complaining! So into the story! **

[Scene One: On the streets of Volterra in the freezing rain]

Gabi: [Crying] Stupid Aro. Stupid Volturri. Stupid Italy. That's it. I'll just go back to America and pretend none of this ever happened.

[Suddenly the Romanians walk out of an alley way]

Stefan: Did you just say Volturri?

Gabi: [Angry] Yeah I did do you have a problem with that fool!?

Stefan: But you're human.

Gabi: Yeah I am, [mocking him while using a weird accent] "Stefan".

Vladimir: How do you know who we are?

Gabi: [Angry] I'm tired of telling vampires how I know about them. I'm angry! I was having the best day of my life and than Aro had to ruin it! He ruins everything. [starts crying]

[Stefan and Vladimir exchange weird glances]

Stefan: [Not sure how to respond] Uh… Its okay?

Gabi: Just go away! Go to your stupid reunion I spent so long planning. And tell Aro I never want to see him again!

Vladimir: [Has an idea] So your pretty angry at the Volturri right now. Right? Well me and Stefan aren't their biggest fans either. Will you help us make a plan for their downfall?

Gabi: [Excited] Yeah!

[Scene Two: At the Volturri castle/place/thing]

Alec: [To Aro, furious] What do you mean Gabi left? What did you say to her?!

Aro: [Still extremely happy] I told her I hated her and than she said she was leaving! I must sing to express my joy! [tries to sing but is even worse than Gabi]

Alec: [Furious] You are a few words that I am not allowed to say!

Felix: [To Aro] Plus I thought you would be trying to find her because she's probably angry right now and she can go expose our secret to the world.

Aro: [Aro just realizes what Felix said] Everyone go out and find Gabi! It's a life or death situation here people! [realizes the Cullen's are still at the door] Felix go let the Cullen's in! Were going to need them to help to.

[Scene Three: At Starbucks]

Gabi: Okay so we go to the reunion and than I jump out in front of Aro singing 'Pants on the Ground' then you guys go behind him and rip of his head and then we burn him! [laughs like Aro] Ha ha ha ha ha!

Vladimir: Wow you're creepy.. But that was an awesome idea!

Gabi: [Proudly] Thank you.

Stefan: So how do you know us.

Gabi: There's a book series called the Twilight and there all about Edward and Bella and stuff and you guys came in for the big "fight" scene at the end of the last book Breaking Dawn. It wasn't even a fight it was so stupid. Like one person died and nobody even really cared.

[Stefan and Vladimir look very confused]

Gabi: It's okay I'll explain later. Now lets go get the Volturri!!

**I don't really know how this chapter is because I wrote it over the course of several days and when I felt different so yeah. In one part I was angry and then I was sick and than I was happy but all in all I think it's a decent chapter but only you guys can really decide that… But anyway keep reading and keep reviewing!!**


	17. I'm a Hippy!

**Hello again my marvelous readers! Before I start the last chapter of this story I would like to give a shout out to some of my many awesome fans! Thank you BellaCarlieCullen67, Dorks in Forks, Alyssa the Twilight Lover, and Appleicious Cullen! Bella read my story out loud with her friend which absolutely made my day! Seriously if anyone ever wanted to act out my story feel free to! Just be sure to review and tell me details : )! Alyssa reviews me all the time which I am so happy about! Dorks in Forks snuck on the computer while she was grounded just to read my fan fiction! And of course Apple is my biggest fan and she reviews me all the time and is totally awesome! You guys know that your reviews make my day right? I read every single one of them and than brag to my friends how awesome you all are! You guys are the best fans a writer can have! And after that ridiculously long introduction I would like to welcome you to the last chapter of Aro Hates Youtube!**

[Scene One: At the Volturri castle/place/thing. All of the vampires are there]

Aro: Attention vampires of the world! This is an emergency! A crazy teenage human is on the loose and she knows our secret! [a big screen comes out of the ceiling with Gabi's face on it] This is Gabi. Don't let her fool you, she is VERY dangerous! Now go people! Now!!

[Gabi pulls open two huge doors and walks through]

Gabi: Pants on the ground! Pants on the ground! Looking like a- [she's sees the Romanians go to kill Aro. She takes a deep breath] fool with your pa- [realizes she cant go through with it] ARO TURN AROUND!!

[Aro turns around just in time to stop the Romanians. They are taken away by random people]

Alec: Gabi!

Gabi: Alec!

[They kiss and everyone is kind of confused]

Bella: So you are going out with an evil vampire!?

Gabi: Shut up! He's not evil!

Alice: Why are you even here?

Gabi: Well, there a book series called the Twilight saga about Edward and Bella except all of you are in it and one day me and friend made a video mocking Aro and than he tracked me down and found out about Twilight. Soo I came here and the rest is history!

[Everyone is confused]

Edward: But don't your parents care that you moved in with a bunch of evil vampires?

Gabi: [Sighs] Actually I have something very important I must say. I am a…. hippy.

**[A/N: Hippy's are awesome! And I love Hair the Musical! In fact I'm going to see it on Broadway!!]**

Everyone: WHAT?!

Aro: But you called me a hippy you were like joking about them…

Gabi: Well let me tell you all a little story. You see my parents were hippy's back

in the old days and than they just never gave it up so they lived in this place with

all these hippy's and everyone just lived out of their hippy vans. Than they all got

old and decided to keep their hippy nature but become rich with it. So the hippy's

all picked up and went to Yale to become environmental lawyers. So than they

all moved into a neighborhood and kind of settled down but they still acted like

hippy's all the time. So than I was born and I was raised to be a hippy. You may

not know it but I'm a vegetarian. No fish or poultry or meat or seafood or anything

with a face. I'm a member of PETA. I petitioned my school board for vegetarian

options and I am a proud animal rights activist. **[A/N: The vegetarian, PETA, **

**protest, and animal rights things are all true]**

Alec: So you're a hippy?

Gabi: Yes, yes I am.

Alec: Cool!

Aro: [Furious] Everyone stop it! I am sick and tired of her taking over everything!

Don't listen to her she's just a weirdo from the wrong decade!

Gabi: I saved your life. I can end it just as easily.

Aro: Oh, you… [runs forward to go kill Gabi]

Carlisle: Aro, can I talk to you alone for a minute?

Aro: Sure, my friend.

[They go into another room]

Carlisle: So I get that you really hate Gabi and you can't send her home and you

can't kill her but I have another idea… Gabi can come live with me and my

family.

**Wow so this is the end. I always imagined it to go out more with a bang but**

**I like the ending. Do you? Please review because I really want to get 100 **

**reviews on this story. I will start writing the sequel to this story… Aro Hates**

**Vegetarians in a few days but I really, really want to get to 100 reviews. So**

**thank you all so much for being such wonderful readers! So keep reading**

**and remember to review!**

**~Gabi**


	18. Aro Hates Vegetarians

Hey everyone sorry for this authors note but I needed to make something clear.

There is a sequel to this story called…

**Aro Hates Vegetarians.**

Just wanted to make sure all of you wonderful readers who read Aro Hates Youtube can now read its sequel!

This will be a trilogy so after Aro Hates Vegetarians there will be one more.

And now a quick word from Aro and Gabi!

Aro: [Talking to camera] Yes you fools you musty keep reading! Or else!

Gabi: [Confused] Who are you talking to?

Aro: No one. [turns back to camera] Read it!

While you heard him everyone! Go out there and read that Fanfiction!


End file.
